An excellent article on reframing how we, as parents or even educators can help children feel positive the right way and how gushing praise is not the answer. Too often educators and parents focus more on the bad and not the good that a child does, or heap empty praise on their backs when they do good.

When it comes to the negatives pointing out the negative children often told they could have done better, that the score on an assignment or test was terrible and they could have done better. Not only does this make a child feel they failed the important adults in their lives, the negative remarks ties into their feelings of self worth and makes them feel incapable of measuring up to adults and peers. Instead adults could say things like, “I see you had some trouble with the test or paper, is there anything I (we) can do to help you work on it,” If a paper or test is good or shows improvement say something to the effect, “I can tell you worked really hard on that assignment,” or “Your efforts and hard work paid off,” etc. When talking about art with children use words like unique or ask them to explain why they chose a certain color or motif, what the piece is about, and other similar questions. Make your remarks about them and not you so your children will grow up feeling positive and valued.